Former clinical psychologist and priest in the Diocese of Wollongong, Fr Gerard Stoyles recently completed his PhD researching the motives of parents who requested the Sacraments of Initiation for their children, with some fascinating findings.
The subject of Fr Stoyles’ research, which was conducted between 2016 and 2024 at the University of Notre Dame Australia, was the question ‘Why do parents present their children for sacraments having had little to no contact with the Church either before or after each sacramental event?’
Fr Stoyles said the research participants were mostly regular Mass attendees, as those not connected to a parish community declined to take part. These participants were therefore asked to offer their beliefs as to why the majority of parents respond as they do. A significant number of participants had time away from the Church and their comments reflected this experience.
“I came to realise parents struggled in making sense of both their faith and their role in handing this faith onto their children. In this task, they seemed like butterflies battling a hurricane,” Fr Stoyles said.
Parents’ priority for their children’s wellbeing was a feature that kept emerging throughout Fr Stoyles’ findings.
“I found nine themes that described the motives of parents who sought the sacraments of Baptism, First Holy Communion and Confirmation for their children,” he said. “Some themes were expected. Some were a surprise. All themes spoke about the primacy of the child in the life of the parent.”
After exploring parents’ motives for requesting Baptism for their children, Fr Stoyles’ PhD also explored the question ‘Why come back to the Church for First Holy Communion and Confirmation following Baptism, especially after such a long time away from the Church?’
In his conclusions, Fr Stoyles said formation and education were key components to a more lasting experience of initiation into the Church.
“Apart from a minority, today’s parents generally possess very little knowledge to form their children in the ways of Catholic faith and worship,” he said.
“If their parents, their grandparents and their great grandparents did not participate in Church life and liturgical worship, then parents understandably lack the foundation for passing on the faith to their children. Parents struggle to apprehend the expectations of the Church when they present their children for Sacraments of Initiation. Once the sacrament is administered, most of these parents lose contact with their parish environment.
“Both parents and the Church need to hear each other’s perspectives. Education and formation thus become a two-way street. The Church learns about the stresses, needs and joys of being a parent. The parent learns about the opportunities, expectations and support of being a member of the Church. The child benefits in both directions.”
Fr Stoyles also proposed a different approach to children’s preparation for the Sacrament of Holy Communion, based on the principle that the parent takes prime responsibility for the child’s sacramental preparation.
Suggested Approach
The approach can only apply to First Holy Communion; it cannot be directly applied to Baptism or Confirmation since Baptisms happen in parishes throughout the year and Confirmation occurs according to the bishop’s calendar. The principles of this approach can, however, be useful for these two sacraments.
- The removal of the one-off First Holy Communion celebration is essential. One weekend per year places undue stress on both parent and child to participate in this event. It also reduces parents’ capacity to take control of their child’s preparation and readiness.
- Certain weekends throughout the year are put aside for the celebration of First Holy Communion, according to the availability of parish resources.
- Parents approach the parish priest or his advocate when they feel that their child is ready for this sacrament rather than respond to a parish document. They discuss the child’s readiness. It would be reasonable to presume that parents would have little understanding of Church practice to be knowledgeable about what “readiness” means. Hence, a lot of leeway is given to the parent in relation to readiness.
- Parents commit to the preparation of their child and themselves. Preferably, this preparation would be online. The process of preparation would need to actively involve the Sunday parish community and be long enough to draw the parent and family back into participation with the parish Sunday Mass experience and even further. The parish community takes a strong role in the preparation process.
- A trained mentor travels with each family on this preparation journey. The mentor communicates with parish and priest as well as offering support and guidance to the family throughout the preparation period. The mentor is the most important person in this approach.
- Parents choose a weekend for the child’s First Holy Communion and the preparation period commences.
- Meetings occur throughout the preparation, both with other parents and in a one-on-one setting with the parish priest. These meetings assess the child and parents’ progress as well as addressing and resolving any issues that might have arisen.
- Parents meet with the parish priest for the last time prior to the chosen weekend. Parents make the decision to either present the child for this sacrament or hold off until readiness of both child and parent is achieved.
- The primacy of the child and the role of parents as the child’s first teachers in the faith means that the decision of parents is respected by the priest unless there are canonical/theological reasons not to do so. The priest does not take parental responsibility for the child’s faith journey. It is the parents who are primarily accountable for the child’s formation in faith and practice.
The above approach would need to be flexible in relation to the resources and profile of each parish community.
Read Fr Stoyles’ research and findings in more detail in the Journal of Pastoral Theology.