As a mum of four children, I have sat through many graduation speeches. Some have been inspiring and memorable and others have been cringeworthy. As we draw close to the end of the year, some of you will be listening – maybe even in person, if COVID-19 restrictions permit – to farewell speeches as your young ones finish primary or secondary school, or even university.
Almost 14 years ago my husband and I sat through one graduation speech that I will never forget. Please, don’t get me wrong; I love school assemblies and celebrations of rites of passage, but this one speech really got to me. Without exception, from the very accomplished guest speaker to the school captains, as well as the senior teachers, each offered very similar messages to the students. That is, to “believe in themselves”, to “fight for their rights”, and to “take on the world”. There was plenty of clapping and high-fives – a sure sign this was just what the young students wanted to hear.
As I watched this scene unfold, something inside me felt uneasy. While I wanted my child to be encouraged about their future, I thought surely there is more to life than what is being offered here? Where were the words about sacrifice, gratitude and humility? And in a Catholic school, where was love for Jesus and each other?
I thought especially of the virtue of humility, which seems to be so underrated these days. To be humble we need to go beyond the secular definition of having low self-regard or a sense of unworthiness. And we also need to be careful of “false humility”, when we put ourselves down in the secret hope that others will offer us praise instead. That’s not what we want for our children, or for ourselves.
Rather, I’m talking about humility in the truest sense. That type of humility frees us from pride and arrogance. Or, to roughly quote St Thomas Aquinas, it means seeing ourselves as God sees us, knowing every good we have comes from God as a pure gift (Summa Theologica, Q161).
To be truly humble requires self-reflection and honesty. It means developing a sense of self-awareness about the areas where God has gifted us, as well as those areas where we aren’t so gifted. It also requires us to graciously accept that everyone else is gifted in some particular way.
As I look back on that graduation ceremony, I wish my daughter had been encouraged to excel in the gifts that God had given her, and to use them with a sense of humility and gratitude. And, to rejoice (and not be jealous) in the fact that other people will be gifted in different ways – and that’s okay.
Having more people encouraged to develop a sense of genuine humility would be a great gift to our world. What are your thoughts?
A prayer for the journey
Understanding what a lived-out, genuine humility means requires some thinking through. I have found that meditating on the following prayer is a very helpful way to reflect on those areas of my life where I have not practised humility.
The Litany of Humility prayer is attributed to Cardinal Rafael Merry del Val (1865-1930). If you are not familiar with a litany prayer, it usually comprises petitions for some good, followed by a repeated response. Litany prayers tend to be lengthy, which can be useful if you are trying to focus on a specific need.
There are several different versions of this prayer, so if you like it, we invite you to click on the links below to listen to a couple of sung versions.
The Litany of Humility
O Jesus! Meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being honoured, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, Jesus.
That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be praised and I unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
Going deeper
Pope Francis spoke of the need for humility in a public address in August this year. He noted that Mary, the mother of Jesus, is a fine example of a person who practised humility in her life. He challenged listeners with the following:
Today, then, let us ask ourselves, each one of us in our heart: how am I doing with humility? Do I seek to be recognised by others, to affirm myself and to be praised, or do I think rather about serving? Do I know how to listen, like Mary, or do I want only to speak and receive attention? Do I know how to keep silence, like Mary, or am I always chattering? Do I know how to take a step back, defuse quarrels and arguments, or do I always want to stand out? Let us think about these questions: how am I doing with humility?
Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary
Pope Francis, 15 August 2021, Vatican
References
My Catholic Life, The Virtue of Humility
Thomas Muglia sings the Litany of Humility
Audrey Assad sings I Shall Not Want (based on the Litany of Humility)
Words: Sharon Brewer
Images: Lightstock